Mystified in Ahmedabad - Part 1

My first week in Ahmedabad and I had shifted in with a lady who sub-let me a room in her 2 BHK. I was really skeptical about this kind of arrangement. I have never lived out of home or hostel or hotel or friend’s home, etc before that. I was missing my family and friends. I was even missing JhaJi - an extremely lazy Bihari canteen guy from MDI, who knew his business in multiples of Rs.5 and who used to make the best Maggi in the world. Seriously!! I think Nestle can introduce his recipe and it would be a bigger success than the terrific (read terrifying) flavours they are beginning to launch. Multigrain noodles taste like glorified Chinese Sambhar rice!!!

Anyway, it was a Friday and I am inclined to watching the last episode of “Lie to me” for the week. But there was a crisis I hadn’t foreseen. When asked in any interview “Can you manage in unfamiliar situations?” – I would always respond in the positive. But real life is not a campus interview!!! It hit me that day that there is nothing more unfamiliar than family and friends – especially when my best friend “Star World” was missing.

Tata Sky had played spoilsport and given my landlady the privilege of watching “ONLY HINDI CHANNELS”. Neither a Star Movies nor a Travel and Living – this was the real torture. My schedule was being affected. I am the one to watch HIMYM at 8, FRIENDS at 8.30, MasterChef Australia at 9, Lie to me at 10, Simpsons at 11 and Modern Family at 11.30 every evening. That is a well made time-table (i think). What would I do without Star World??? That indeed is a working girl's best friend.
I have always been a planner and well organised. I was now thrown completely off track - I had nothing. I would not wish this upon my worst enemy… Where was I???

I was really scared.. People here, firstly, eat Sweet Food (I haven’t dared to have a Gujarati thali till date) and to top that they don’t watch English channels !!! (I am certainly not typecasting people or insulting anyone here).

To add to the agony on that dreaded black Friday -  I had fever. My landlady gave me an ayurvedic black little pill. I had no option and gobbled it up with my first dinner of “rabari”. What is it? It is a sweet (read WHY???!!!) broken wheat khichdi that apparently relieves febrile sensations.

Then the darkeness dawned and it was time to sleep. I was already petrified and so… locked my room that night and stayed awake till 2 am – wondering if she would slit my throat or tandoor me and put my skeleton with others she had in her cupboard. I called all my friends who were awake that night – and spoke till I fell asleep at some unknown hour.

Fortunately, I was alive the next morning and have been more than alive every other morning thus far. My landlady has become my friend and she even makes pulao and stuffed capsicum for me!!! But that s another story now….

Darbar-E-Bharat

Monday begins at 7, as I get ready to set out on my sales mission. A driver by the name Munnabhai picks me up in a grey cab. He greets me with a handle-bar moustache smile!! (Wonder if Vivek Oberoi was inspired by Munna!! ) As I begin to wonder if the wild wild west had any effect on him, “Darbar” he says, “I m from Rajasthan”.
All drivers in Gujarat are from Rajasthan, either Udaipur or Dungarpur. These people are adept at their driving skills. A driver I met once had driven all the way to Sikkim from Ahmedabad over 11 days. The farthest Darbar has been is to Karnataka by road. He beams with a sense of pride, an achievement indeed. He looks exactly like the brass sun god that is hung at the entrance to my land lady’s room. She says the figurine cures us of all diseases and evil. 

The Sun God is known to be a symbol of courage and strength. The Udaipur royal palace (not turned into a Taj/Leela guest abode) has a golden Sun God statuette. According to a myth, long ago when dark clouded skies brought upon destruction in the Mewar land, the kings worshipped the Golden Sun and everything was restored to natural peace and order. The sun is revered not just in India, but is highly prevalent in Egypt and Africa. 

Africans and Indians also share similarities in devotional music. A tribe descendant of Africa, the Sidis, lives in Gujarat. They are known to perform with melungas and drums. One such group performed a tribal dance for “India’s got Talent – Khoj 2” on Colors TV. In breaking coconuts or dancing in feathers, they were astounding. Most of them were cobblers and mechanics. There are 10000 such people in Saurashtra, around the Gir forest.
Wonder if IBM’s initiative with Gujarat Govt of creating an amusement and artisan “Gram Haat” would be able to help them out soon.
One such Haat near Udaipur is called Shilpgram and is known to enhance awareness of rural life and crafts and provide opportunities for the under-privileged. I however, met PadmaShri artists, who work with big names in the Hindi film industry.
Is the true motive of the gram haat being met??? Compelling all artists to be a part of the Gram to receive perennial funds from the Government – is that enough motivation?? I feel it is being misused. The concept is for the disadvantaged, to give them a common standing. The purpose seems to have diluted before it could do good to the masses. Be it the mid-day meal scheme or the execution of NREGA, monitoring becomes difficult. Is control the issue? 

Bangladesh has seen 80% agricultural growth over the past 5 years with India growing at 25%. Rate of reduction of poverty has been stagnant since 1970. Is it because the span of control is less in a country of small geography?? Do we change our policies or governments to progress??

Inclusive growth has remained a mere term in every honorary speech while taking up responsibility of the country and its people. As we start featuring in (Forbes) lists of richest people, hot looking stars, etc., are we forgetting about the Great Indian divide!!!
Villages in Orissa do not have electricity, as the meters are expensive at Rs.2000!!! The average monthly per capita expenditure is Rs.772 in the rural areas. Electrifying rural India definitely seems to be a problem when spend on items like fuel and electricity is 10% (Rs.77). While even medical expenditure seems to be a luxury at 8%, tobacco purchase fits in comfortably at 15%. India is the third largest producer of tobacco and second largest consumer of tobacco and derivative products.
Health minister Azad, concurs with me as he just announced a “Jihad” against tobacco (the news flashed on google news about 5 seconds ago). He is concerned that it kills 0.9 million people every year in India, while there are 5.5 million deaths worldwide. At a death rate of 6.6 and a population of 1.14 billion, will the 2011 census report be the only comfort in creasing out India’s concerns.

To avoid ending on a grim note: Fun fact :) : Cigarettes contain more than 4000 ingredients and is an industry of over 400 billion dollars. 

Ajab Lehar hai… meri padosi!!! Ajab se cheettein…ajab ishare!!

Feeling is of the seventh heaven, as I lie on a hammock at a resort in Aksa beach. Thoughts drift along, sandwiched between the bright blue swimming pool on the right and sea green beach on the left. The breeze tangle and waltz as one, yet so diverse. The sky has lightened since morning. The weather is as impulsive as the city of dreams. Rapid rains in the day are now followed by the rising hot sun by the noon. Little white wisps of cloud scamper around the spreading bright blue sky. In no time, a big white whale of precipitate devours the little silver fish. As I blink my eyes I realize, the reel of nature is on fast forward now. Fishermen bring in their small boats with a large hope of a dazzling new dawn. The setting sun, the bright red sky, orange sea water…. Zindagi ke hain ajab rang !!!